Chapter Text
“I love you.”
what?
Those three words. Such a small number, but with an outstanding meaning. Hearing them escape speedily from the others’ mouth, Jisung froze. As normally someone would say that his thoughts raced, those were competing for their life.
Jisung’s head became a mess. For good 2 whole minutes he stood there, shielded by the umbrella the other man held, unmoving. The sound of harsh rain the only thing enveloping the two, nothing else. No cars, no humans running to get to a dry spot, not even any sounds of nature, aside from the downpour.
Unfortunately for the oh so trying rain, Jisung’s thoughts were much much louder. Everything enveloped in chaos in his mind, which felt like it lasted for eternity.
and then it clicked.
All thoughts went into place. Like pieces of a month unsolved puzzle suddenly all found their places.
Before Jisung could muster up any words, the other boy, visibly nervous out of his mind, pushed his umbrella into Jisung’s hand, and ran. He was left there in the rain, with a singular umbrella in his hand, wanting to scream after him, wanting to run after him, to stop him. But he just stood there. And he was still there, as the man slowly disappeared from his sight.
~
Jisung sighed. He has no clue how he’s got here, but has already accepted his misery. Somehow he found himself two hours ago, getting dragged to a boring high school party at some random friends’ of Changbin’s house. Their parents were apparently away on some business trip, but no one cared about that, the only thing that mattered, was obviously the fact that there’s a party.
And now Jisung is sitting in a large circle made of 20 or so people, (un)willingly participating in a very heated game of Truth or Dare. Classic. He managed to space out around 3 times, when someone sitting next to him shook him by the shoulder with a question.“Jisung! Truth or Dare!”
Honestly? He couldn’t give less f*cks about what happens here.
“Dare.”
A wave of ‘ohh’s’ and ‘YOO’s’ overcame the crowd, even the non-players. True, It is a party, so people choose dares more often, but It’s still a nice and easy way to f*ck up someone’s life. Murmurs spread across 16 and 17 year olds sitting in the big circle, and suddenly, a voice which Jisung doesn’t recognize speaks up.“I dare you, to do 7 minutes in heaven with…” the person hesitated for a second “Hwang Hyunjin!”
Yet another wave of voices, this time a little louder, has erupted from the crowd. You could see some people shifting in their seats in anticipation, the spectators whispering behind others’ backs, and pointing fingers.
At the mention of the name, Jisung’s face turned into a slight grimace. It’s not that he disliked the man, he just… didn’t think of him quite well. Do these two things mean practically the same? Maybe. Probably. Okay, yes they do. Let’s just say… he’s not the biggest fan of the guy.
His eyes shifted through the crowd to find said man sitting slightly to his right, looking rather confused, maybe a little uncomfortable. Said boy stood up, his dark hair looking smooth and silky in the dimmed lights of the room. Jisung didn’t fall behind, slowly standing up, whilst locking eyes with the other. They stood there, while in the back someone called for the party thrower to show them a place.
~
Soon after, they were locked in a small, but rather comfy closet, in a different room from where the game was ongoing. The timer has been set, and the lockers have ventured away, giving them hearing privacy. For the first bunch of seconds, both boys stood there, really closely to each other, almost feeling each other’s breaths.
Honestly? Jisung’s never had a very clear issue with said guy. Hyunjin never went in his way, nor he made his life any more miserable than he could already call it. He was just… there. It’d be quite hard for Jisung to describe it clearly, but there was just something off putting about the other. He disliked him for that laugh. For his face. And mostly, for his personality. Jisung just never understood how others could love him so much. Because well, he was beautiful. That was without a doubt a sure fact.
Jisung, sure, had his confidence, but he still could clearly tell when someone was much more attractive than him. That was the thing he hated about Hwang Hyunjin. He wouldn’t call it jealousy, rather the fact that it feels like the other doesn’t have to do a thing, to achieve something others could work for months for.
“Um, so…” Jisung started awkwardly “I don’t think we’ve properly introduced ourselves yet… The name’s Han Jisung”“Oh, yes that’s right, my name’s-”
“Hwang Hyunjin, I know.” The other interrupted.
“You know me?” Hyunjin asked with a tone of surprise in his voice.“Well, first, you name has been said when you were chosen for this.” Jisung snorted. “I don’t think you’ve caught mine, basing from how spaced out you were the whole game. But I don’t blame you. Personally, I couldn’t focus on this boring thing either.” he claimed, rolling his eyes at the memory of sitting in that circle. “And second, you are pretty popular around school. I’m sure you know that.”
The other laughed awkwardly, and then they fell into silence once again. Hyunjin has been shifting around in his stance a bit, visibly quite uncomfy. For a few seconds, Jisung for some reason felt sympathetic towards the other. In the impulse he decided to offer.“Hey, If this whole ‘7 minutes’ thing is bugging you, It’s alright, I have my phone, I can text Changbin to like, let us out or something.” Jisung said.
“Oh no, It’s not that” Hyunjin mumbled.
“Well, then, ignore the 7 minutes, and let’s say we have all the time in the world.” Jisung snatched away a scarf hanging from a top shelf of the closet, which was visibly annoying him. “What’s on your mind?” He asked, trying to look as emphatic as he could.
Hyunjin sighed deeply. For two seconds he looked like he was considering the offer, and then took a deep breath once more, and asked. “Would it really be okay for me to say?”
“Well, I suppose as long as you don’t insult my mother, then we’re good.” Jisung laughed, and felt something warm entangle him as he saw a small smile forming on the others’ lips. He had really pretty lips. Darn you, Hwang Hyunjin.
“Alright then.” he stood there silently for a few seconds, probably trying to form his thoughts into words. Jisung didn’t blame him for that, he did the same a lot.
“You know, a ton of people tell me I’m pretty.” Jisung raised his eyebrows at that start. That was surely not what he was expecting. But he himself wasn’t actually sure what he was expecting, so he just let it go.
“And don’t get me wrong, I always appreciate compliments, but It’s… frustrating.” Yet another thing Jisung has not expected, his eyebrows furrowing. He wasn’t quite sure where the other was going. “It’s so frustrating once you hear it all the time. Anything you do. It’s just. <<Oh you’re so perfect.>>, <<Anything you do is so good!>> and all the stuff like it. The one that hurts me the most, are people who instantly assume, that because I look like this, and because I achieve a lot, that everything is handed to me on a silver platter. Whilst the truth is much different. Even if everything was handed to me that way, I’d hate it. I can’t bear people telling me, that because I’m beautiful, I don’t need to do anything. People never see all the work I actually put into everything I do. My projects, classes, everything coming all together, It’s all so… I can’t even describe it.” The words spilled and spilled from his mouth, and with them, Jisung has just realized, how wronghe’s been about Hyunjin’s whole person this entire time.
As Hyunjin finished talking, there were tears forming at the edges of his eyes. As soon as Jisung saw that, he unconsciously reached to envelop the taller boy into a warm hug. It’s true, Jisung did not know Hyunjin. He didn’t know him at all. But that was not a reason, for him to not comfort him in a low time, because he was one of those, who knew how it feels.
Hyunjin also wrapped his arms around the other, silently sobbing into the others’ shoulder. They stood there, for a minute, before Jisung heard a silent whisper from the other.
“I’m so sorry for dumping this all on you”. “There’s nothing to be sorry about. You have every right to feel upset. Please don’t feel like a burden, I agreed to listen to you.” In this moment, Jisung really meant his words. He wouldn’t take them back no matter what. It took another moment of silence, before Hyunjin’s voice spoke up a little saying.
“Thank you… for listening”
Jisung’s lips curled slightly upwards.
“It’s the least I could do.”
~
“so, dude, you want to, I don’t know, maybe update us on what the heck happened with you and Hyunjin?” Changbin exclaimed.
“seriously, man?” Jisung sighed “You barge into my house on a Sunday, not even bothering to sent me a text or anything, and this is the first thing you say?”
“Says who?” a third voice rang from behind the older. “You’re the one who wanders off for 7 minutes in heaven with one of the popular kids, and then doesn’t return. And don’t even mention bothering to text, because you haven’t given us a sign of life since yesterday.” Seungmin steps into Jisung’s vision, still barely visible a little in the back behind Changbin, who hovered the door frame.
Jisung’s eyes went wide, panic momentarily snooping through his mind “Shut up! My parents could hear!” He hissed and pulled Changbin inside his room, also making room for Seungmin to come in as well. Seungmin nonchalantly stepped inside the room, and made his way to sit on Jisung’s beanbag chair stationed in the corner of the room.
Jisung almost slammed the door shut behind him, and then turn around to meet his friends’ eyes, full of anticipation. He sighed deeply, trying to calculate just how much of his unintentional stay in the closet with Hyunjin he can tell his friends.
“So did you guys hook up or what?” Changbin starts, ending the short moment of silence.
“WHAT?” Jisung almost screamed “Are you insane?! Me, and Hwang Hyunjin?? Hooking up? Where the hell did that assumption come from.”
Obviously before said 7 wonderful minutes, Jisung did not see Hyunjin with much sympathy and sugar coated eyes. And his friends should be obviously the ones to know that.
“I don’t know, maybe the fact that you both went onto your closet, and then never came back?” Seungmin claimed, crossing his arms in his seat.
“Hold on.” Jisung stopped “He didn’t come back either?”
“What? You suddenly worried about him? Is he your boyfriend now?” The youngest in the room cooed.
“NO!” Jisung barked.
What happened after they both had exited the closet was a very interesting story actually. Chan was the one who went to let them out of the closet, the rest of the crew f*cking around, still playing the dumb game. The older visibly a little concerned for what would come out of this quite random situation, but still couldn’t fight his curiosity.
After they both (very awkwardly) exited the closet, they made their way to the hallway. As if their minds were in sync, they stopped in front of the door, already standing in the hallway. Chan wandered away, as they were just standing there, in… some sort of silence. It wasn’t awkward, no, you would more call it, them both processing their thoughts.
Hyunjin eyed Jisung for a sec, and then slightly turned his head towards him, while mumbling “If you could… please don’t tell anyone about this.” to Jisung, he sounded almost… scared?
“Oh, yeah, all good man. No worries.” Jisung replied quickly.
After another two seconds of silence, he spoke up again.
“You know, I think I’ll head out now. This environment isn’t doing my mindset anything good.” The younger snorted.
“Oh, alright. I’ll stay for a bit longer” Hyunjin shot the other a small smile, as he went down the hallway, towards the living room where the crowd was seated. Jisung didn’t actually get to see if he entered the room, because soon after, he nodded, mouthing a small ‘bye’, turned and left through the main door.
Headed back to that memory now, Jisung decided to just shrug it off. It’s not like he cared about that guy’s well being that much. Plus, It’s not his business, right?
He later then told the boys, that he and Hyunjin just talked about everything and nothing in that closet, and nothing happened. He was met with some complaints (“wow. that’s just. plain boring” said a certain puppy looking individual.), but he let them slide as always.
~
Years passed. Boys grew into men, who went to college. If you had to describe Hyunjin’s and Jisung’s current relationship, not much actually was there to talk about. They have a few shared friends, so they met on occasions. If they saw each other in hallways or at convenience stores, all they did was a slight nod of acknowledgment, nothing else. After that, they slowly drifted apart, to not even looking at each other, pretending they’re strangers. They never really talked much, Jisung had no clue if the others’ situation has changed in any way, but never really making his way to ask. Pretty distanced from each other, neither of them ever putting in effort to interact with the other. And it might seem like that might last. But the future had different plans.
~
Jisung exhaled a long and exaggerated groan. Light pain stinging his forehead as his head hit the wooden table under his palms.
“What is it this time, Sungie?” Minho, being the lovable and so so caring friend to Jisung, asked, turning his gaze to the other.
“The same thing as always… what else could It be?” The younger sighed and turned his head, so that he laid on his cheek, facing Minho.
“I don’t know, maybe you finally deciding to get a life and date somebody?” The other stated with raised eyebrows, sending Jisung a sarcastic stare.
It was awful. And don’t get Jisung wrong, he doesn’t mind when someone asks, but the thing Minho has been doing recently, has been getting him to want to throw knives at his best friend. Ever since it hit a year of him and Chan finally getting together, Minho has been going on and on about how happy he is. It’s become even worse, now that he’s started pestering Jisung about his relationship status too. Bumping his shoulder whenever a good looking guy walks past them, or wiggling his eyebrows when he sees the other talking to a guy about anything. It’s getting on Jisung’s nerves, and he’s been wanting to punch Minho in the stomach more and more recently.
The younger shoot Minho with a death stare, before finally sitting up properly, and taking a pen into his hand, to get on with his work.
But before he managed to actually write anything down, a tall figure walked past the sitting two, and sat down at a table a little further from them. Jisung of course didn’t pay the figure much mind, a student like any other. Nothing weird with people coming to study in the library. As he went on to focus, well, at least tried to, he felt a pinch on his arm.
“ow!” he hissed under his breath “are you insane?!” he accused his best friend with a hushed whisper.
Minho on the other hand ignored Jisung’s tantrum, as he stared at the “figure” that just sat down in one of the library’s chairs, and just put on noise canceling headphones, whilst taking out his laptop.
“shh.” He shushed the younger, and then rather discreetly pointed at the person. Jisung, wholeheartedly confused, and who couldn’t really see the newcomer from behind his best friend, carefully took a peek from behind Minho’s shoulder. The person sitting there was none other than Hwang Hyunjin himself.
The younger made a tired expression, and looked at Minho like he was a child who just claimed to have seen a giant dragon getting chased by a bunch of pink police cars.
“what are you staring at me like that for?” the older asked, clearly not getting Jisung’s disappointment.
“I think rather a better question is, why the hell are you pointing at Hyunjin like he’s some sort of f*cking celebrity.” Jisung snapped back at Minho, visibly annoyed.
“Well, he is pretty popular around the campus. Plus, didn’t you two have like, some sort of moment back in high school?” The older asked, with a face like he was recalling a distant memory.
Jisung sighed. Of course he remembered it. It honestly would’ve been surprising if he didn’t. Those damn 7 minutes in an old closet at some random guy’s house back in high school. Meant so much yet so little. If he were to be speaking the whole and complete truth, he’s curious about Hyunjin’s situation. He doesn’t resent him as he used to, he sees him as any other person. But the other has always been a not very obvious human being, putting up a mask for people from outside to see. But what was in the past, stays in it. And Jisung has always believed that, so he didn’t push it. They were never close in the first place, so it just felt wrong for him to actually ask.
“I wouldn’t call it that precisely…” Jisung finally answered after getting lost in thought for a second.
“Then? Enlighten me.” simply demanded Minho.
“Listen man, it’s not that easy-” the other started started.
“shh! Don’t any of you have common sense?? This is a library!” Before the younger managed to grace Minho with any actual response, they’ve been shushed by one of the library interns, which just with their luck, has been passing by.
Minho waved apologetically towards the girl staring at them with an angry expression, and hushed a few ‘sorries’ towards her.
“Okay, you know what?” Jisung hissed in a hushed whisper. “I’m done, I came here to study, and you’re distracting me as usual.” he added. “Hold on. Why were you even here in the first place?”
Minho stirred in his seat, looking Jisung right in the eyes. “Was waiting for Chan to pick me up.”
Jisung simply stood there dumbfounded.
“aRE YOU SERIOUS??” he spat, trying to keep his voice quiet “Wow, awesome knowing I’m just something to occupy you when you’re bored.” He huffed, with a false dramatic tone. He wasn’t actually mad at Minho, not at all. But him mentioning that they’re going on a date once again, just put him off.
“Jisungie-”“Nope, save it, I’m leaving.” He puffed, doing an over dramatic hair toss with his hand, as he grabbed his laptop and headed out towards the door.
He simply walked by, unbothered, not paying attention to his surroundings, and not noticing another pair of eyes following him as he left.
~
Jisung was nothing if not the grumpiest guy in the mornings you could ever see. To say he’s not a morning person, would be a huge understatement. To keep himself in check, his go-to thing is, obviously, as he’s a sleep-deprived college student, caffeine. He simply cannot go a day without a coffee, and when he does, he’s… well… quite pissed off.
So that’s when he finds himself stumbling into the near-campus cafe, at 6 AM on a Monday. He spent the whole recent evening trying to grab himself up and finish up his assignment. Professor Moon was really on his back recently, and don’t get him wrong, he likes praise and attention, but she’s been pressuring him into taking extra work to show off his skills. And he hasn’t been doing so well with that.
He opened the door to the small establishment, instantly noticing the surprising lack of students there. Upon seeing it, he simply shrugged and went on inside. He found it pretty unusual, but his sleep-deprived brain swiftly dismissed it. He went up to the counter, to find a very smiley rainbow haired barista already ready to take his order.
“Hello!! Anything I can get you?” she spoke, with an astonishing amount of energy for their current situation.
“Uh… yeah, a tall frappe will do, thank you” he said, eyes widening a little at the display of energy.
“Sure!! Anything else?” she said flashing him a big smile.“Nope, that will do, thanks” he scratched his neck “I’ll pay by card please.”
She nodded and accepted his payment, swiftly getting on to work. Jisung vaguely registered a different person sitting at the back, but didn’t pay them any mind. He was too tired for this.
The cheerful barista waved him off and gestured for him to sit down anywhere, clearly communicating for him that she’ll bring his order to his table. He then waddled (because that tired-ass walk could not be described differently) into the direction of the back. The cafe was actually very nicely maintained, even with the outrageous amounts of students pouring in and out every single day, even on weekends. It was well kept, fairy-lights by the top, nice dim lights which didn’t make the interior seem like a hospital room, clean minimalist chairs and tables. There was a bunch of greenery hanging at the ceiling, and standing by tables, giving the place a nice vibe.
As much energy as the place could possibly give, Jisung slept around 2 hours that night, so truly nothing aside from a coffee could spike up his will to live.
He plopped down on the booth couch, one that was going on through the whole wall, and had two people tables put in front of it every few meters. He pulled out his laptop and soundproof headphones, and began on his work once again. He’s been feeling practically stuck on this one track for an additional assignment for professor Moon. It’s not that he’s extremely determined for some additional grade or something, rather the opposite. If it were up to him, he wouldn’t do it at all. But a major issue for him, is the fact, that he’s kind of a… pushover. He finds it hard to refuse a person something, especially if they’re nice. May it be his friends, family, or even his teacher. He just can’t refuse.
And that’s exactly why he’s sitting in a cafe at 6 AM on a Monday, with dark bags under his eyes, hair a mess, dark gray oversized hoodie and sweatpants. His deadline is in 3 days, and he can’t find any creative musical ideas in himself to satisfy both his professor and his pride.
It was maybe a few minutes, five or six, when the barista, Kyorin (as her nameplate said), placed a drink in front of him. First, he didn’t pay it any attention, simply nodded and thanked her, while keeping his eyes glued to his laptop and his mixing program. Then, he heard some commotion on his left, and removed his headphones for them to rest on his neck, as he took a swift look in the direction of the noise. With that, he froze.
“I’m so sorry—”
At a circular table on the left, was sitting none other than the celebrity himself, Hwang Hyunjin, talking to Kyorin. The colorful haired barista looked extremely distressed, and she kept on bowing almost every two seconds. While the other man, with a sad but smiley expression on his face kept waving his hands in a soft manner.
Jisung simply eyed them both, and then finally started fully paying attention to his surroundings, which meant also their conversation.
“It’s alright, seriously, not an issue” Hyunjin’s soft voice echoed in the almost empty cafe.
“I’ll remake the drinks, I promise, I’m sorry again, really—” The woman bowed swiftly again.“It’s fine, I didn’t drink it, I just noticed that it wasn’t mine. Maybe the other person hasn’t drunk theirs either, and then we could simply switch, It’s alright.” The blonde said, trying to calm her down.
At those words, Kyorin looked around trying to find something, when her eyes stopped on Jisung.
“Oh! You, uh, sir, excuse me, have you drunk this yet??” she said in his direction, pointing subtly at his drink.
For a split second there, Jisung was simply processing what on earth she meant, as he took a look at the drink standing on the table next to him. That was most certainly not what he’d ordered, and his stupid brain didn’t even register that. It was the blackest Americano known to existence. His brows furrowed, looking from the cup on his table, to the rainbow haired barista, very clearly not noticing a certain blonde man that was staring into his soul with eyes almost out of their sockets.
Then, he remembered, that probably the most socially acceptable, would be to reply.
“Oh, yeah no, I haven’t.” he bubbled out poking the cup with his finger. “I didn’t even notice it was the wrong one…” he muttered under his nose.
“Alright then, I’m so sorry again for the inconvenience, I’ll switch your drinks to the accurate ones.” Kyorin bowed again, and then went on to pick up the drink from Hyunjin’s table, and (carefully) placing it over at Han’s table. She did the same with Hyunjin’s drink, bowed again, and with a sad expression and a hung head, returning to her position at the counter.
Jisung was just about to tell her that It’s alright and there’s nothing she did wrong, but his thought process was interrupted by a very gorgeous man standing in front of him with his Americano in his hand, and looking down at him with a soft neutral expression.
“Hello, mind if I join you?”
At those words, Jisung’s brain has short circuited. A bunch of chaotic words spurred inside his brain ‘Does he remember me???’, ‘Don’t I look like literal sh*t right now?’, ‘If he came to kill me, at least I won’t have to do this assignment.’ ‘HOLD UP, IS THAT A PIERCING??’
“…Hi?” his voice rang in Jisung’s ear once again, reminding him, that he is in fact a living human being who functions in society.
“N-nah not at all, sit if you want to.” he stuttered a little pointing with his hand at the seat in front of him on the other side of the table. The other smiled softly, and set down his drink on the table, before sitting down.
Out of respect, Jisung closed down his laptop and hid it in his bag, before turning his full attention to the blonde sitting in front of him. Now that he finally had a good look, he could see all the changes in the man. When they first “met” Hyunjin was much less… interesting. He was a typical popular teenager, but in a boring way. Taller than most, Dark hair on the shorter side, and a fake smirk for his fake audience. Now he was well… kinda breathtaking. His whole presence felt like if inspiration was a person.
He had bright bleached hair, a color of the brightest sunflowers upon a sunny field, a silver eyebrow piercing, a creative style which expressed him in the most positive way, and was Jisung seeing… a bit of a tattoo peeking out from the collar of his shirt? He truly did look his best for a 6 AM on a Monday.
“It really is you… whew, for a few seconds of your silence I really thought I got the wrong person.” The artist smiled, and took a long sip of his coffee.
Jisung simply sat there, almost ogling the other guy with his stare, still not quite awake enough to process all this. It took him around another ten seconds to shake his head and respond.
“Oh yeah… Hyunjin, right?? Didn’t expect to run into you here.” He sighed out, running a hand through his soft brown hair, in a (hopefully) invisibly desperate manner to at least look somewhat presentable.
“Yeah that’s me. I wasn’t sure if you remembered me either.” The other said, placing his cup back on the table.
“Really?? Well, you were kinda popular in high school.” Jisung murmured, avoiding Hyunjin’s gaze like a professional introvert he is.
“Is that so… well regardless, It’s really nice seeing you. Especially here right now, as it’s today.” The blonde added.
Jisung was struck off track there for a second. “Wait… what do you mean by ‘as it’s today’?” he asked the other, tilting his head a little.
Hyunjin furrowed his brows at the question.
“Well, today is the college-issued free day. That’s why It’s so empty around here. There aren’t any classes today.” he explained, smiling a little at Jisung’s fallen expression.“You’re telling me… I pulled an almost all nighter, just to find out there aren’t any classes today?” He inquired, his whole life plan ruined.
Hyunjin in front of him simply smiled a little wider and nodded his head, taking another sip of his drink.“That’s why I was so surprised to see you here. I personally like getting up at what the others call ‘ungodly hours’, to find inspiration, but I wasn’t sure why you’d be here at this time.” He smiled into his cup.
Jisung simply groaned and covered his face with his hands. His whole day plan just went down the drain, and now he had nothing to do with himself.
“I’ve been stuck on this god-awful assignment.” he started “Professor Moon’s been on my back throughout the whole year, watching my every single move and giving me as much work as she possibly can. I have this one dead lined for Thursday, and I just can’t figure out neither the lyrics nor’ the track to this one. It always feels like something is missing.” he ranted “I don’t even know why I’m telling you this.” He peeked at the other man through his fingers.
Hyunjin chuckled a little at Jisung’s demise.
“I don’t know why you’re telling me this either, but I don’t mind.” He shrugged. “Wanna hear what I do when I’m having an art block?” he suggested.
Jisung lowered his hands, his interest piqued. Hyunjin was always a big enigma to him, a walking paradox. Jisung knew that he was an art major, but something also screamed ‘poet’ from this guy’s presence. They didn’t have much contact, they never even interacted outside from that one time in high school, so Jisung knew basically nothing of the guy. And now the other was willing to share something, kinda personal when you think about it, just like that? Well, you can’t say Jisung is about to refuse.
So he nodded, and waited for Hyunjin’s answer.
“When I’m feeling particularly discouraged, I open a window in my flat, and look down at the humans outside. There’s always someone, at least one person. And when there’s no one, that’s fine too. But the most important thing is, I look at them, and I imagine how their life must be. What type of family do they have? Do they have a significant other they’re going home to? Maybe a pet? What lifestyle do they have?” he looked to his right towards a window with a fond, almost not present expression. “I spend time thinking about humanity. It’s like a breath of fresh air, something to keep me going. Somehow I always find myself with it.”
Hyunjin’s eyes felt… distant. Like he wasn’t truly in that small coffee shop, near the main street. He looked like he was far away, somewhere true to only his mind.
And Jisung understood.
~
“So I met Hyunjin the other day.”
Seungmin lowered his phone from the front of his nose, and sent Jisung a glare from his laying position on the couch.
“you what now.”
The older just stared at the ceiling from his position on the floor, displayed like a starfish. Seungmin was already used to Jisung’s antics, so he was far from surprised when the older simply came into the room without a word and laid down on the floor like an abandoned rug.
Having met with zero answer Seungmin became impatient. “Well?? Care to elaborate?” He shot at Jisung.
“There isn’t much to talk about actually. I went to the ‘Smithereens’ like I usually do, and the barista mixed up our drinks. He then just asked if he can sit with me. It was extremely awkward.” the older summed up.
“And?”
“And nothing. He just gave me some inspirational advice and told me he had to go meet a friend. That’s all.”
“Wow, such an eventful encounter.” Seungmin replied sarcastically, and then proceeded to scroll through his endless twitter feed.
“Yeah I know right, you’re always so reliable and so responsive to my stories aren’t you Minnie.” Jisung sat up and faced Seungmin with an unimpressed expression.
“Well, what else do you want me to say? You said it yourself, not much happened.” Seungmin
A moment of silence fell upon the two. It was late October, and even though both of the men had a sh*t-ton of assignments already, none of them could bring themselves to care. It was a Saturday, and both of them were exhausted with everything already.
“So, was he handsome?”
“WH-WHAT TYPE OF QUESTION IS THAT???” Han’s eyes almost went out of their sockets as he eyed the other in disbelief.
“what?? I haven’t seen the guy since high school.” Seungmin shrugged, as he put his phone away onto the coffee table and grabbed his mug of tea.
“Exactly, you haven’t, and that’s the first thing you asked about him??” Jisung tilted his head in a bewildered manner.
“Listen dude, if something, we’re looking for a potential partner for you, mkay? I’m good being single, thanks.” The younger sent the other a stare from over his tea.
“Mhm, yeah, as if you and Jeongin haven’t been dancing around each other for… remind me, 6 years now maybe?” He made a comical pause in the middle of the sentence, just to outline the irony of the situation.
The next thing Jisung felt was a pillow thrown at his head with inexplicable aim. He heard a scoff, as he grabbed the pillow and made an unimpressed face at the thrower. Then he simply rolled his eyes, scrambled up from the floor, and placed the pillow back onto their couch. He and Seungmin had a nice, small, but neatly decorated apartment. They made the decision to move in together at 18, before any of them was even sure of what they wanted to do in life, but their promise had been kept when they went on into college. The flat is mostly kept clean thanks to Seungmin, who chases Jisung around most of the time. Wallets were thrown, once or twice, but eventually Jisung gave in and started tidying stuff up on his own.
He got a little lost in thought, while boiling water for some instant ramen. Earlier on, he eyed Hyunjin a little, but didn’t think too much about his looks. Now, that he actually considers it, he had gotten quite attractive over the years. But he would never admit that. Who cares that he might or might not exactly fit Jisung’s type now? It doesn’t matter. Besides, even if they were closer, nothing would ever come out of it. And Jisung knew that, so he dismissed the thoughts before they could evolve into something unpleasant.
~
“Would you be so kind to maybe calm down, Jisung?”
“BUT HOW CAN I?? IT’S GONE. GONE GONE AND GONE. AND WITH IT GONE IS MY SOUL, THERE’S NOTHING LEFT FOR ME TO LIVE FOR ANYMORE.”
“You.” Seungmin pointed at Jisung with a very not amused expression “are being dramatic. It’s just a notebook. Whatever can happen to it?”
“Just a notebook. JUST A NOTEBOOK???” His loud almost screechy voice turned a few heads as they stormed through the campus halls.
“YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, THAT CONTAINS MY LIFE.”
“Oh it might’ve had your final music project too.”
“THAT’S EVEN WORSE”
The two lovely men are currently on their merry way to one of the biggest lecture halls of their University, on the search of Jisung’s very lost lyric book. See, Jisung is an artist. And also kind of a perfectionist, which might be just the most cursed combo imaginable. He will NOT allow a single person to see his either unfinished or “imperfect”work contained in his dear lyric book. And it just so happens, that he might’ve lost it. Who knows what he was doing with it the last time? Not even he himself does. He might’ve left it on the coffee table. Or on his bed. It might’ve fallen somewhere, or he might’ve been doing everything in his might to not focus on his lectures and was in fact scribbling down random ideas in said notebook. Well, he checked each and every location previously mentioned twice (or more) aside from the last one, and found nothing. So his last resort would be to check the lecture hall. And that’s exactly where he went, dragging a very tired Seungmin from his afternoon nap.
They stumbled (very loudly) into the lecture hall, which was surprisingly open at the time, and found Prof. Kim sitting at the desk in the front. Prof. Kim was a very lovely guy. He was known for giving easier essays and you could never be bored in his class. He’s the ‘campus favorite’ as most students would call him. So upon seeing him, Jisung visibly brightened, and trotted up to his desk.
“Hello Professor!” He smiled at the older man as he stopped right in front of the desk.
“Ah, Jisung! What are you doing here? Don’t you have any lectures right now?” The older man relaxed his shoulders as he looked slightly up at the student standing in front of him.
“Nope, not at the moment.” His bright light faded a little, as he remembered his current situation. “Actually, I have something to ask you.”
“Sure, anything. What do you need?”
“Have you perchance seen a dark blue striped notebook?? It might’ve been somewhere around here.”
Mr. Kim’s eyes widened in recognition, before he answered “So you were the unlucky guy! I was sure I’ve seen that notebook around somewhere.”
Jisung’s head perked up at that answer “What?? You know where it is?”
“Not necessarily where it is, but rather who has it.” Mr. Kim smiled.
At that answer Jisung’s mind stopped. ‘Who has it?’ He repeated in his mind. ‘So Someone specifically has my lyric book?’ It took him a second to actually realize the meaning of these words. When his thoughts finally clicked, he started to panic. The vision of someone seeing all of his work, including the unfinished lyrics, and the old and cringe love songs he used to write in high school, made him almost pass out.
“As if… a person has it..?” Jisung spoke with a little wobbly voice, already seeing his doom.
“Yes, a very nice young man. I can’t quite pinpoint the name, as he doesn’t take my class, but he dropped by yesterday afternoon to mention having found a notebook that probably belongs to you.” The professor bent a little and opened a desk drawer, to pull out a small neatly folded paper. “He left his number in case someone came to look for it.”
Jisung reached out and took the folded card from the Professor, staring at it as if it was the key to his death. He didn’t know if he should feel ecstatic that his notebook is safe, or fearful of the person having it looking through it. Well, regardless, he thanked the professor, and managed to turn to leave before he noticed that he was in fact alone in the lecture hall aside from the older man.
He didn’t say anything and kept a poker face as he left the room, only to find Seungmin dozing off at a school bench nearby.
He went up to the man and shook him by the shoulder “Hey! Wake up! You left me there on my own!”
The younger hummer a little disapprovingly as he scrunched his eyes open only to glare at Jisung “Well, did you find anything?”
“Yeah I have the phone number of a person who has my notebook”
“See? So you did perfectly without me”
Jisung just scoffed and went on his way back to his apartment, leaving the other behind without a second thought.
~
Once they both came back to the apartment, Jisung settled into his room once again, he decided to waste no time texting the person that has his beloved notebook. For this, he could even pretend to not have social anxiety!
From: Jisung 17:23
Hey there, I was told you found a notebook somewhere in the South lecture hall?
From: Unknown 17:24
Yeah, were you the one who lost it??
From: Jisung 17:24
Haha, that’s me
From: Unknown 17:25
You attend JYP Uni right? Do you have time tomorrow maybe?
From: Jisung 17:25
Uh, yeah I could make time. But I have a 1,5 hour class at 2 PM, so somewhere after? Maybe?
From: Unknown 17:26
I end class at 6 PM. Would you mind hopping into the dance studio? I could take it with me.
From: Jisung 17:27
Yup, No worries, I’ll be there.
The stranger seemed to major dancing since he took the class, but Jisung didn’t think much of it. He was just relieved that someone nice found his lyric book, and that he’ll have it most likely by tomorrow. So with that he sighed, and got up to sit at his desk, to get at least some work done.
~
“MINHO I’M SCARED” Jisung screamed in his best friend’s ear as they walked.
“Jisung, if you don’t calm yourself in this very second I’ll make sure you’ll be sitting tightly in my air fryer once we’re back at mine.”
“…sorry” The younger silenced down a little, before resuming at a rapid pace “but It’s just this random stranger has my lyric book and I have so much embarrassing stuff in there I’m bound to die.”
Minho raised an eyebrow, but simply kept walking without any interruptions “You do realize he didn’t necessarily have to look through it right.”
“YOU KNOW HOW PEOPLE ARE DON’T YOU? I’M SURE HE AT LEAST TOOK A PEEK”Jisung trashed his hair with his hand, and now it looked even worse than before.
“Well if you’re so insistent at the idea, I won’t say anything. I’ll simply allow you to overthink and delude yourself into insanity once more.” He shot the other a glare from under his eyebrows.
You see, Jisung has this thing. He’s not entirely confident in the work that he has. His self-belief limits itself at being able to get up from bed in the morning, and being able to survive the whole day. That’s why his lyric book is so precious. He works a lot on the things he has in there, and he loves doing that, but it still isn’t enough sometimes. He’s already used to spending tons of time along with sleepless nights running only on inspiration and caffeine, which sometimes works, but while reading the lyrics and beats the next morning he’s able to swiftly write a diss track about himself.
So that’s where he is, entering the dance studio with Minho and praying that the stranger who accidentally happened to find his notebook didn’t look through it. Or at least if he did, that he’d keep the thoughts to himself, because no opinion on his work could be good.
When they entered the building’s main hall, Minho suddenly makes a turn for the left without any explanation.
“Hey! Where are you going?” Jisung shouted after his friend.
Minho stopped for a second and shot the other a stare from behind his shoulder as he spoke “Dude I have class. Did you think I only came here to pick up your notebook for you??”
“Well-” Jisung sighed “You’d do it anyway if I asked you to, wouldn’t you.”
Minho stopped once more to think, and then simply left without an answer.
Jisung smiled to himself, knowing it means ‘yes’, even if the catlike guy would never admit it.
So now that Jisung has taken in his surroundings, he has realized that he is in fact alone in a Campus wing that he’s never been in before. Truly it’s not that he’s never been there before, just the thing that he never paid too much attention. When he found himself in the building on certain occasions, usually he never took in his surroundings, simply following Minho, his only dancer friend around.
He looked over at his phone once again, and checked the studio number that the stranger had sent him this morning.
Then, by the power of deduction he decided to head in the direction of the numbered studios. Luckily for him, finding it wasn’t rocket science, because the studios were rather in order, and there were markings on the walls.
So, in around 5 minutes of wandering around the dance wing, he finally found room 14, located in the north corner.
Before going inside, he took a peek to confirm that the room wasn’t empty. The window had been blurred, so he could only see a bunch of figures moving around, and a soft hum of music coming from the inside.
After a second of mental preparation, he decided to head on inside, with plans to simply wait a bit for the person, after their class would be finished. He opened the sliding doors lightly, cautious, not to stir up too much attention. There were a bunch of people already sitting on the sidelines, some dancers and some not, so he didn’t exactly seem as the odd one out, which was relieving. Only after having sat down, did Jisung start to pay attention to the dancers.
They were young people definitely, along with most of them being male. He glanced over their faces briefly, before stopping on one particular individual, which he was much more familiar with than the rest.
A tall and slender figure with neatly shaped muscles, moving with the rhythm as if they were one. He blended with the music as if he and the soft tunes have known each other for longer than birth. His limbs moved around in perfect harmony, that opened before him the gates of alleged heaven. When Jisung laid eyes on him, he couldn’t look away. Even as he was halfway drenched in sweat, loose clothes sticking to his body and his hair messy, something in him pulled Jisung in, and couldn’t let go.
He only snapped out of his trance once the music stopped, and everyone started clapping for each other in thanks for the good work. Only then had he gotten a little anxious about the person, and decided to text them once again, just mentioning that he’s inside the room.
When he noticed who’s phone vibrated with a notification, he truly was on the verge of a mental breakdown.
As Hwang Hyunjin picked up his phone and checked his messaged, Jisung felt his breathing stop. Truly, he felt ready to die this day. Hyunjin picked up his bag, and his eyes searched around the room, before stopping on Jisung’s figure, still sitting on the floor supported by the wall.
Shortly after, Hyunjin made his way towards Jisung, with a simple question.
“Jisung? What are you doing here?” The taller tilted his head in a questioning manner, before stopping right in front of Jisung.
The younger man’s brain simply short circuited. That black tank top Hyunjin was wearing left NOTHING to the imagination. Hyunjin’s toned arms looked so ethereal, that for two seconds Jisung almost imagined them on his waist. He almost psychically needed to slap himself to get out of that trance and actually respond.
“Um… I lost a notebook and the person that found it told me we could meet up after their class so they could give it back to me.” He stammered out finally, after a long pause.
“Wait.” Hyunjin’s eyebrows furrowed, as realization downed on his face “You’re the owner of the blue lyric book?”
sh*t. He knows it’s a lyric book. Jisung is so obviously and well f*cked.
“Yea, that would be me…” He smiled awkwardly.
“Oh.” Hyunjin sighed out.
The older man then proceeded to search through his bag, until he pulled out Jisung’s lost treasure.
“Here.” He said with a soft smile, while handing Jisung the notebook.
For a brief second, Jisung forgot all about the fact that Hyunjin might’ve read through his things, and was simply ecstatic to have found his long lost gem. He finally stood up from the floor. The older still had a bit of height advantage, yet Jisung didn’t care right now. He took his notebook gently from the others’ hands and briefly skimmed through it with the biggest smile on his face, not noticing how Hyunjin’s eyes haven’t left his face through the whole time.
Once he closed the lyric book in his hands, he finally took attention to the man standing in front of him. Hyunjin had been looking at him with a… weird look. But weird in a quite positive way. He had a look of soft fondness upon his face, staring at Jisung as if they knew each other for their whole life and more
Somehow the look in Hyunjin’s soft brown eyes pulled him in even more. For a second, it was like no one else existed. Just them two. Alone in this world, looking at each other as if they were well acquainted with each other’s souls. Like deep down something had clicked, a switch was turned, which both of them felt but neither wanted to admit.
Hyunjin shook his head a little, throwing them both out of their trance.
“Well, there’s one more thing I wanted to say before you go” the older said, rearranging his bag on his shoulder.
“I’m sorry I did so, but I took a peek inside..”
of f*cking course he did. And now he’s about to tell me that my writings are sh*t or anything else that’s worse.
“The things you write… they’re breathtaking.” Hyunjin said instead
And that, was something Jisung did not in fact expect.
“Well, I think you remember our last encounter at the coffee shop. And how I told you my way of overcoming art block?” Hyunjin asked.
Jisung nodded hesitantly. He did in fact remember it quite well, and surprisingly took the advice to heart. It even worked a few times. What can Jisung say. Art block isn’t a stranger to his doorstep.
“And it always used to work.” The older sighed “Each time I’ve been facing a hardship when it came to my art or my studies I’d look out the window and I’d either find ideas or motivation.” He put his hands in his trouser pockets “And recently, it stopped working. I’ve been on a massive blockage, I couldn’t find a single idea or nothing. But then I found your notebook in the lecture hall. It was lying on the desk, and I noticed it because I stayed behind with Professor Kim. I picked it up, and skimmed through it to find a signature or something that would track me down to you. But I found nothing. Instead, I noticed your lyrics. And they were…”
Hyunjin looked into Jisung’s eyes.
“Beautiful.”
Jisung’s world had stopped once again. He didn’t expect anyone to find his notebook, and even better he didn’t expect the person to praise his work so highly. He truly expected some unnecessary critique and mean words, or truly just a negative silence, but the man in front of him just never ceased to amaze him.
“Your work inspired me again. And I’ve created some of the most beautiful paintings I’ve ever done. My choreography has been getting better too.”
Jisung simply stood there, taking in all those words, and not knowing what to say.
“So I’ve thought… would it be okay if I ever were to read something of yours again?” Hyunjin asked hopefully “It’s truly breathtaking. But obviously if you’re uncomfortable with that, I’ll just pretend I never asked.”
“No no, It’s fine really. I suppose I wouldn’t mind you reading something of mine…” Jisung hesitated a little, but still confirmed.
“Really?? Thank you so much” Hyunjin’s face had been decorated with the loveliest smile Jisung had ever seen, and the younger psychically felt his heart skip a beat.
At that, Jisung panicked a little, and stirred in his stance.
“Uhhh yeah no problem, I really need to go now though, Seungmin wants me at the apartment to watch a movie together, I’ll see you around”
He spoke quickly about to walk out from the classroom before hearing Hyunjin’s words from behind.
“Of course. I do have your number now.” He spoke behind him with a small chuckle.
Jisung felt his face heat up, as he quickly opened the door and rushed outside, pretending not to have heard the last words spoken by the dance major.
